There's a rumour that Jessica Chastain was wearing $5 Million worth of Harry Winston jewels to the Golden Globes, which makes it all the more surprising that she chose to team them with what looks very much like my fitted bedsheet twisted around her body.

To be fair to the beautiful Zero Dark Thirty star, her Calvin Klein dress looked a lot better on television than it does in photos, and the strange draping is more to do with Jessica trying to navigate the red carpet on her ridiculous platform shoes than the dress itself, so it's not as bad as it seems.

The seafoam green dress features a simple sheath skirt, and an intricately folded halter top that leaves the whole back exposed. It looks less creased, more origami-like, and flows better on camera than in still photographs, but it still looks a bit of an ill-fit to me, like a couple of inches could be taken out of the bodice.

So near, yet so far. We're hoping she's got something better lined up for the Oscars.