Things to do if you're not invited to the Sex & The City premiere tonight...
London is buzzing as preparations are made for the Sex And The City movie premiere tonight. But what does a girl do when her invitation has been lost in the post? Here are our top ten things to do to celebrate SATC without walking down the red carpet this evening...
1. Have a DVD party instead
Take one Sex And The City box set, add a few of your best girlfriends (let's say three), some wine and some snackettes. Wear white ribbed vests with black bras underneath and smoke in your bedroom. Et voila, you're almost Carrie!
2. Go for cocktails with the girls
Find the most pretentious bar you can and snag a table. Order a round of Cosmopolitans for your mates and make eyes at any attractive man who might contemplate buying you the next one. Remember to wear something ridiculously impractical. A tiny skirt covered in feathers might do, or a spray-on blue dress with a big coat over the top. And Manolo's, obviously.
3. Work alone on your laptop
Sit at your desk with the window wide open, blowing a nice breeze onto you and your Macbook. You'll be wearing that fetching white top / black bra combo again, with men's boxer shorts on your bottom half. Spend your evening writing a witty article about relationships, remembering to include the words 'I got to thinking' in the first paragraph, followed by an insightful question.
4. Feed your cat and watch TiVo
Ok, we don't get TiVo over here, but Virgin On Demand or Sky+ are decent alternatives. With any luck, you'll be obsessed with old BBC shows like 'Jules and Mimi'. When you're done with that, you'll bake a cake, eat loads of it and then chuck it in the bin to stop yourself. When you take it back out again to dig in for a second helping, it's time to call your friend and check in to the Betty Crocker clinic.
5. Go shopping
Duh! City shops are open super-late, meaning you have more time to spend your hard-earned moolah on Choos. If you have time, stop by a flea market too, where you might just be able to pick up a nameplate necklace for a few dollars that will eventually become your trademark. It's ironic, you see.
6. Have sex
Lots and lots of sex.
7. Cheat on your adorable boyfriend*
With the man you know is no good for you.
8. Go to a gallery opening / exhibition / swanky event of some kind
Here you will inevitably find a smart looking man who likes your dress and pearls and wants to be your husband. Sadly, I foretell that he will have a strange characteristic that eventually causes you to dump him. Don't worry though, there's a sweaty lawyer with a heart of gold in your future. You might need to start brushing up on your Hebrew, though...
9. Visit your married friends
Just don't take your shoes off, no matter how much they beg. No good can come from leaving Manolo Blahnik's unattended.
10. Spend the night with your GBF
Every girl needs a Gay Best Friend. He'll come in handy at some point or other...maybe he has a house in the Hamptons he could invite you to in the Summer or something?
* Catwalk Queen takes no responsibility for what might happen if you sacrifice
Aiden your boyfriend for Big someone else. Even if there's Zsa Zsa Zu.