Panic over. Following two outbreaks of the animal disease Foot and Mouth in Southern England another possible case has been cleared. Hugh Pennington, a professor of microbiology at Aberdeen University explains, "This is not a virus that affects people, there is not a threat if you drink milk or eat beef, it is not a human threat at all."
This is particularly good news for retail mogul Sir Philip Green who is clearly concerned about the outbreak. In an interview with The Evening Standard he admits that Foot and Mouth is a crisis but adds, "I haven't got that."
He also quashes some other rumour about a potential crisis and offers and explanation for the word itself. "Crisis means you're running out of money, you've got serious associated problems and difficulties. I don't think it means having the ability to recruit people if two out of 45,000 leave, do you?"