CQ's Guide To Surviving The Kate Moss for Topshop Launch
Are you all Kate Moss-ed out yet? I know I am and the darn thing hasn't even begun yet! Earlier I even went as far as to accidentally refer to Catwalk Queen as Katewalk Queen instead... oh dear! Anyway, if you are planning to mosey on down for the glorious event next week (which we've code-named 'Operation Topshop') then you better prepare yourself. Taking inspiration from Topshop's Kate Moss launch survival guide we have created our own, original aren't we? Nevertheless, I hope you'll find it includes loads more helpful tips than simply: "Avoid the baying crowds. Shop from home at Topshop.com for a truly hassle-free experience"... I mean, where's the fun in that?
Keep reading for your ultimate Topshop survival guide...
CQ's GUIDE TO SURVIVING THE KATE MOSS FOR TOPSHOP LAUNCH:
Our top ten tips:
1. Go on a Kate Moss style bender beforehand to numb the pain of the whole experience.
2. Take your boyfriend / big brother / father or any other large male that you know to act as your own personal security.
3. Wear really big shades and talk on your phone every five minutes saying things like 'yah, dahhhlink, Kate's lovely threads are launching today so I'm just down here to support my pal.'
4. Get a job at Topshop over the next few days. Obviously choose one that's stocking the collection.
5. Bring a camera or some other recording device so you can sell your story to The Sun afterwards on how you survived the Kate Moss for Topshop launch.
6. Practise your best 'nutter' impression by running towards the crowd screaming "HE'S COMING TO GET YOU ALLLLLLL" while flailing about lots. You'll soon find the queue dwindling.
7. Go into Topshop the day before the launch and hide in the changing rooms. Remember to take an MP3 player and some crisps (or perhaps a slightly quieter snack).
8. Mark your territory by weeing on the clothes you want. No one will touch them after that.
9. Ignore the official website line not to "grapple, beg or bribe". Begging really does get you everywhere!
10. Call the police and explain that you've spotted an addict slumped in the front window of a London shop and you're worried a bit of a crowd is forming. This is for comedy value more than anything else.
Above all, make sure not to ingest anything what-so-ever as you'll surely need the loo and consequently lose your place in the queue. Hey, we never said this was going to be fun!
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lmao that was funny - am i the only one camping outside glasto style with my 6ft manfriend? who else is camping if anyone try look at me funny for being out there all night ill just say where was your boyfriend the night ps2 ps3 or psp's came out? and i know you never payed full price for that gucci bag you sat it out in jan sales outside selfridges!
so come on be honist so whos camping out!?
Posted by: blou | April 27, 2007 7:47 PM