Small and Imperfectly Formed: Saved by Ugly Betty

Keris Stainton writes ...

It’s time for me to own up, come clean. My name’s Keris and I have no style. My clothes are a mishmash of things that generally don’t flatter and whenever I go out shopping, whatever my intention, I end up buying more of the same.

I’m in the second half of my thirties and I still dress pretty much the same way I’ve always dressed (that is, badly) and, you see, at my height, it’s just not good enough. At 4ft 11inches you need a plan. You need to know what works, what suits you, what’s not going to swamp you.

I know the rules - no long skirts, no cropped trousers, high heels at all times, low waists, scoop necks and yet my wardrobe contains all of the above. And I have more flat shoes than heels (I work from home and have a two year old son, what do I want with high heels?) and the heels I do have hurt.

Last year I was photographed for a national newspaper. A stylist was arranged and she phoned in advance to ask me about my style. I had no idea. Not a single clue. I tried to think of a celebrity whose style I admired, but only came up with Jennifer Aniston and I imagine everyone says her. Plus, she’s classic and I like to think of myself as quirky. The trouble is when I think quirky, the only celebrity that springs to mind is Su Pollard and that’s so not what I mean.

Plus there aren’t all that many celebrities of my height. There’s Kristin Chenoweth, Jada Pinkett Smith and Li’l Kim. Now Li’l Kim’s style could probably be called quirky, but again, not a quirky I’d like to emulate.

Also, all of those actresses are considerably thinner than me. Move up an inch and you get Shakira and Dawn French. Now Dawn French isn’t thin, but I’m not quite that big either and she only really wears sort of kaftan/trouser combos. Not a look I’m quite ready for yet.

If you stretch to 5ft 2in (I wish!) then you get Reese Witherspoon and Kelly Osborne. Now you’re cooking. I do love the way Reese dresses. And though Kelly Osborne is slim now, a couple of years ago she was probably about my size and she’s certainly quirky, but I’m not sure I - at 35 - can pull off quite that level of quirk.

But then ... googling around for short celebrities I found my holy grail. Ugly Betty. Or rather, the gorgeous, curvaceous actress who plays her: America Ferrera. I already had a bit of a girl-crush on America. She’s just so beautiful and proud of her figure (although it’s shrinking and I imagine in person she’s not all that curvaceous after all) and she always looks great and, would you believe it, she’s 5ft 2in! Yes! And certainly if you look through my old photo albums you will see that at times in my life (teens and early 20s, I was pretty Ugly Bettyish myself). Result!

So my plan is to find every picture I can of America Ferrera. I will make an America Ferrera scrapbook and carry it with me when I go shopping. I will study the style of America Ferrera and learn her curvy and glossy ways. She’s clearly employed a stylist recently because she’s dressing incredibly well, so it will be like being styled by proxy. The stylist styles America and America styles me (although without her knowledge). And watching Ugly Betty will inspire me because I know with this plan I can turn myself into an America Ferrera style swan. I’m excited. I’ll keep you posted.

Want to watch Aigua Fashion TV? Click here for the latest videos

Came straight to this page? Visit www.catwalkqueen.tv for loads more stories!

Posted by on February 2, 2007 1:46 PM in Columns & Opinions
Permalink | Comments (8) | digg this | del.icio.us this | Stumble It!

Comments

The comments to this entry are closed.