Now that brand director Jane Shepherdson has dramatically left Topshop amid rumours that she (like the rest of us) is fed up of Kate Moss, it's time to find her a new job. We're pretty sure that a woman with years experience at the high street's most fashion-forward store (she was once described as 'the most important woman in fashion') won't exactly have trouble finding a new job, and rumour has it she's in talks to join Marks & Spencer, but just in case that doesn't happen we've come up with a few ideas of our own...
1. Freelance Personal Shopper & Stylist
Can you imagine how much money people would pay to have the woman who defined an entire era of Topshop picking out clothes for them? Though a shrewd businesswoman like Shepherdson would probably be bored stupid picking out dresses for wannabe WAGS, there's nothing more lucrative than women with no taste and too much cash. Not to mention the fact that shopping for a living with someone else's money is a dream come true. In fact forget Jane, I want this job!
2. Joining the team at Burberry London
Christopher Bailey has definitely helped revive the Burberry brand in the fashion stakes after one too many chavs wore checked baseball caps, but they could still do with some clever ideas from our Jane. No doubt the first thing she'd do is ditch the coke-snorting model (you know who I mean), put that signature check on linings only, and take full advantage of the fact this is the year of the coat (wasn't it just the year of the dress?). Nobody does a classic trench like Burberry...but too many people have forgotten that.
3. Presenter of 'What Not To Wear'
Let's face it. Lisa Butcher and Mica Paris are no Trinny and Susannah, are they? Recent episodes of the revamped BBC show resemble a big fat fashion car crash. Yes, the women look better by the end, but most of that is down to the new hairdo and not the new wardrobe. Something tells me Jane Shepherdson would know that putting thirtysomething mothers in footless tights is a bad idea. Lisa and Mica haven't yet figured this out. Pop the Topshop queen at the helm, team her with a stylist / model we've actually heard of and voila! Sparks will fly and women will look amazing.
4. Big Boss Lady at Matalan
CQ faves Primark or George at Asda would be the obvious choice, of course, but they're not exactly doing badly for themselves at the moment without any extra help. Budget store Matalan could really benefit from Shepherdson's know-how and make themselves a real contender. Right now they bash out the odd brilliant buy (they're already doing Diane Von Furstenberg style dresses and Louboutin style shoes) but they're missing the overall trend-lead feel of their rivals. Put Jane in charge of the fashion side, ditch the Falmer range and the cheap sportswear and let mom shop in the homeware section from now on.
5. The Savior Of Affordable American Fashion
As much as it would pain us to lose such fashion royalty, the place where Jane would make the biggest splash is definitely across the pond. Our US visitors are always complaining that there's no Topshop in the USA, and now here's a chance for some clever Yank moguls to snap up the queen of the UK high street and put her to work launching something amazing in malls across America. Just remember if it happens that it was us who suggested it (so make sure the website ships internationally).
