So, did everyone watch Project Catwalk last night? If not, you might want to look away now. Spoilers ahoy!

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Here they are, the lucky 12 who'll be spending the next few weeks trying to impress La Hurley, Lorraine Candy and a plethora of guest judges (Giles Deacon and Isabella Blow this week, Julien Macdonald and Frost French next week). The designers range from current fashion student Kirsty to 36-year-old single mum Lesley, along with your usual slim blondes and camp gay men. It's like looking at my graduating class! I'm not going to pass judgement on them yet, because one week is never enough to tell. Nobody seems particularly annoying yet, but I do spy potential!

This week's task was a typically ridiculous start. The designers were given £50 and half an hour in a B&Q warehouse (think hardware store, US friends) to get the materials to make a dress for a garden party. The clever ones went for ground sheets, shower curtains and hippo bags. The nutters went for plaster, grass and metal sheeting. Sadly for them, there seems to be a strong emphasis from the judges on the wearability of the final pieces (this is fashion, not art) which is great news for the 90% of the viewing public who don't give a monkeys about skirts made from turf and dozens of metres of copper wiring used to turn 'space' into a 'dress'. This week's winner was the one who stuck to the brief and made a dress that could actually be worn in public.

Ironically, she was also the youngest and least experienced member of the team, so three cheers for Kirsty, the sweet redhead from Merseyside (her dress is 4th from right in the picture below). How she made that out of stuff bought in B&Q is beyond me!

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At the bottom of the pile were Marianne, who used turf and chicken wire to make her 'keep off the grass' skirt (Lorraine thought it was too predictable), and Rami, who seeemed to spend two days painting hessian with white paint, and then scrunching it up and threading copper wire through it (nobody 'got' it). Eventually, we said goodbye to Rami. Why? Well I think the fabulous Giles wins the 'quote of the episode' award for this little exchange...

Giles: Rami, did you train to be a plumber, ever?
Rami: No.
Giles: Could you explain to me the concept and signficance of the copper tubing?
Rami: I think beauty is in the moment, not in the object. The copper tubing is the stabilisation of that moment. That is, that now it is a dress. When you take it off, it's a space.
Giles: [lost look] Well, there you go.

No, I wasn't any wiser, either. I also have to give a nod to the lovely Matthew (oh so pretty, oh so gay) for his response to Isabella Blow's worries that you'd see a bit too much if his model (in the yellow Ikea-bag like tutu creation) bent over. "You know, a bit of cheek doesn't go amiss!" he grinned. I love him already!

Next week: Sadie Frost and Jemima French take the crew partying, Julien Macdonald bitches along with the best of them, and Ben De Lisi shouts at the Sushino. Excitement!

Exciting Project Catwalk tidbit: the models wear shoes from Faith, Dune, Emma Hope and Patrick Cox.