Fashion Don'ts That Make Me Crazy
It's Carnivale of Couture time again, with fashion bloggers coming together to blog on a weekly topic. This time around, The Manolo has us venting about the trends that we just can't stand. I decided to avoid the obvious (city shorts, puffballs, granny shoes etc) but there were still hundreds of possibilities. Fashion don'ts that drive me mad? Oh, where to begin...
$14.99 at Brianna's Fashion Boutique
- I obviously missed the memo about these, but suddenly they're everywhere. Being worn with heels! I know it's part of the California cool look (Hilton, Simpson, Barton, I blame you!) where young women dress in a wardrobe made up almost entirely of stretch jersey in block colours...but wear these in England and people will laugh. Worse than that, people will whip out their camera phones to take pictures of you so they can show their friends and laugh even more later. Even if you have the whippet-like body of a 14-year-old, these are still wrong on so many levels. Call the fashion police!
Chunky, Heeled Clogs
$490 Dior at Saks Fifth Avenue
- High heeled mules are hard enough to pull off already. You run the severe risk of looking like a hooker, a stripper or an extra from a hip-hop video. Add to that a chunky clog style upper, and it gets a hundred times worse. Then you look like any one of those aforementioned things, but with the addition of big clown feet. Now, this would be ok (just) if the shoes were worn with some nice floor-skimming jeans. But you know the girl who buys super-girlie clogs like these Dior ones is going to team them with a belt-sized denim mini. My eyeeeeeees!
The Wrong Hoisery!
$8.00 Rhonda's Fashions
- I'm not against tights or stockings at all. In fact, I wear them more than most because I have really pale, corned beef-like legs. Fishnets, opaques, glossies, crochet, chevrons...you name it, I probably have it in my wardrobe. But there is such thing as going too far, and there are very few women who can get away with any of the following:
- white / pale pastel coloured tights
- footless lace tights (see above)
- swirly pucci style prints (unless it's 60s fancy dress)
- horizontal stripes (especially of the footless variety)
- tights and sandals (for the love of god, no!)
...yet many women still try. And don't even get me started on the current fad for leggings and footless tights. It keeps me awake at night.
Bag Dresses (especially in pale colours)
$155 Rachel Pally at Nessa Lee Style
In real life, nobody looks good in a dress that hugs the hips and belly and hangs shapelessly over the rest. I only know one non-celebrity who's ever pulled off a bag dress, and she is 5'10, skinny as a rake with small and perky boobs, long legs and honey coloured skin. And even she wore a black version. On most people (ie. me) these dresses look awful. When these were 'trendy' (two years ago, ish?) perfectly beautiful women everywhere were suddenly transformed into dumpy blobs in sacks. Or worse! And even celebrities suffered at the hands of the bag dress. Why, Ms Simpson, is that a large bus I see hidden under your unflattering dress?
Disagree? Well, the world would be boring if we were all the same. But why not share your frock horrors too?