...aka the Catwalk Queen's Golden Globe fashion critique in a nutshell!

Every year over at Catwalk Queen Magazine I do a fashion critique of the big awards shows. That will still be happening, but I like to watch the actual ceremony (on Sunday) before I launch into too much detail. That said, since the photographs are out already, it seems silly not to at least do a bit of bitching in between. So here it is, over the jump. All the links lead to pictures of the outfits in question, to save you some loading time.

Ellen Pompeo, the 1930s called and they want their nightie back. And they think you need to EAT SOMETHING.
Ziyi Zhang, I wouldn't have chosen that colour with your skin, but you look fabulous.
Hilary Swank, we love you and your visible tit tape (look closely on the right hand side).
Teri Hatcher, yet again you look absolutely stunning. But that doesn't mean we like you.
SJP, I never thought I'd say this about you, but isn't that dress a bit 'blah'? I never thought of you as safe.
Sadra Oh, ditto. I love you but that dress does nothing for you.
Sarah Wayne Callies, whoever you are, see the comments directed at Ellen Pompeo. They apply to you too.
Reese Witherspoon, we are not worthy. Only you can pull off cutesy chic with such grace. That skirt would make most people look like heifers.
Natalie Portman, love the pixie hair, love the chic lace dress even more.
Michelle Williams (of 'mother of Heath Ledger's baby' fame, not the one out of Destiny's Child), it was a risky choice going for purple toilet-roll cover chic, but I actually like it. You've come a long way from Dawson's Creek.
Renee Zellweger, why do you always look like you're sucking a particularly sour lemon?
Rachel Weisz, gorgeous shape (baby bump!), horrible 80s prom dress fabric.
Eva Longoria, the lady in red. Simple, chic, lovely. The same can not be said for the hair and make-up.
Emmy Rossum, I'm not sure where you end and the tulle begins. I can't for the life of me work out why a girl so pale is so attached to beige.
Keira Knightley, how I hate you. Why do you always look so stunning? Even in berketex bride white?
Mariah Carey, did they not have the dress in your size?
Marcia Cross, red hair and an orange dress? Risky!
Jessica Alba - in a word, wow! Possibly my favourite dress of the night.
Debra Messing, another risky choice. Prints are always trouble at awards ceremonies, but you pull this off because...well, you're Grace!
Charlize Theron, everyone said you'd go for something shorter, and you did. It's Dior, if I'm not mistaken, and very edgy. It'll probably get trashed, but it makes a nice change from all the satin.
Evangeline Lilly, simple dress, beautiful colour. See Keira Knightley. I hate you too!
Dayna Devon - obviously a fan of Go Fug Yourself.
Katherine Heigl, not the best dress of the night, but still quite fabulous nevertheless.
Anne Hathaway, beautiful dress, unflattering, severe hair, scary red lips.
Jaime Pressly (who I love in 'My Name Is Earl'), looking as far from trailer trash as can be. Though I'm sure I had a sofa in that fabric once.
Alanis Morisette, I don't know where to begin. Perhaps with a strapless bra.

And finally, Emma Thompson and Colin Firth. No words are necessary. They can do no wrong.